Based loosely on this. I recommend meals like this no more than once a month unless you wish to be the subject of mathematical jokes starting "Assume a spherical cow."

It is, however, unspeakably nice. It's where mushrooms go when they have been Really Quite Remarkably Good Indeed.

Frying pan
Olive oil
300-500g mushrooms, diced largeish
25-50g butter
300ml double cream
A squirt of soy sauce
Just a little tabasco
Pasta, preferably penne

Olive oil into the pan. Fry the mushrooms in it. Add the butter. Fry the mushrooms a bit longer.

(At this point, you should taste a piece or two of mushroom. You'll see what I mean above. OH MY GOD.)

Put the penne on. Add the cream, soy sauce and chili. Stir lots and lots. It should be reduced by the time the penne is done.

Serve. Eat slowly.

Under no circumstances endeavour to count the calories.

(I used to eat meals like this all the time in Fitzroy cafés. I'm amazed I didn't have to roll there and back.)